Mason's Birth Story

I am still reeling and in disbelief that John & I are now parents.  We are so in love with our new little boy.  He has become the center of our lives and we can't wait to watch him grow and discover the world around him.  Mason Robert Tenbus was born on April 26th, 2012 at 4:47pm.  He measured 22 inches long.  He has a little bit of light brown hair, mommy's nose, and daddy's lips.  Mason's middle name is after my dad.

What follows here is the play by play of how Mason entered the world.  I've spent considerable time writing it and it has been very cathartic for me.  It's a lot to read & more intended for me to process through and remember than anything else, but feel free to read if you'd like.  I apologize, it's VERY long.
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I loved being pregnant and was lucky enough to have a very smooth and uncomplicated pregnancy.  When Mason's due date passed, I tried to stay patient and remind myself how easy I had had it the past 9 months, but it was hard as I was so very excited to meet him.  Right up to my due date, I really hadn't shown any signs of going into labor.  I was a 'fingertip' dilated for about a month.  I did lose some mucus plug a few days before.  But as my due date came and went, and the days went by with no contractions, no bloody show, and no other 'signs' of labor I knew that an induction would probably be in my future.  My doctor advised me that she didn't feel it was safe for my pregnancy to go past 41 weeks so we scheduled a cervadil application Wednesday night the 25th with plans to induce the next day.  I didn't even bring my birth plan to the hospital because a lot of it was now irrelevant since we were inducing and because John & I both felt we knew what we wanted and he could advocate for me, even if I couldn't do it for myself.
Wednesday night my doctor applied the medication and we waited and slept.  The next morning my doctor examined me and I had gone from 1 to 2 cm.  Not exactly the progress I had been hoping for.  Eager to get things moving, I got out of bed & walked the hallways for two hours.  Contractions did pick up and I began cramping.  I came back to my room & bounced/rolled on my yoga ball.  My doctor arrived and thought it was good that the contractions picked up so we broke my water at around 9 Thursday morning to help them move even further along.  That was the most bizarre feeling in the world.  I had SO much fluid; I can't imagine if it had broken in public or even at home.  It would have destroyed any furniture or bedding.  Contractions continued to intensify.  Another examination showed however that I was only at 3 - 4 cm dilated.
It was so frustrating to be in so much pain and know that my body wasn't responding the way I thought it should.  Knowing that I wasn't even halfway dilated to where I needed to be to begin pushing and that we were going to start Pitocin (which would make the contractions even more intense & close together), I realized it could be a potentially very long day so I decided to get some pain medication.  I continued to labor and my cervix continued to be very stubborn despite my Dr. even trying to stretch it herself manually (which I think might have been the most painful procedure of the whole experience).  On a trip to the bathroom I noticed meconium in my fluid.  I knew this was a sign that the baby could be in distress, another indication of where this labor experience was heading.  After checking again, I was at 4.5 cm.  I heard my Dr & nurse discussing recommending an epidural as a last ditch effort to see if it would relax me & my body enough to cause more dilation.  I had been so hoping to go through this experience with as few medical interventions as possible and it was disheartening to me to be another case of cascading interventions, but at that point I was ready to try anything to finally meet my son.  Needless to say, I never dilated past 4.5 cm & the baby started to have heart rate drops, so it was time to get him out.
They wheeled me into the OR for a c-section.  My epidural hadn't taken well & as they began the procedure, I swore I could feel pain and sensations I shouldn't have so the anesthesiologist increased my medication and I was out of it.  This is really the only part of the experience that saddens me.  I can accept that I needed to be induced and what followed from there.  It's not an uncommon experience and Mason got here safely so that's all that matters to me ultimately in the end.  But I don't remember hearing him cry as he was delivered or having him placed by my chest in the seconds after he was born. That wrenches at my heart.  Luckily, we had a wonderful labor & delivery nurse who brought my camera in with her & took photos of those special moments.  John also was able to have those experiences so that makes it better.  I finally got to meet my sweet angel when I woke up a few hours later.  They placed him in my arms and I wept with joy.  After all we'd been through together, he was finally here.  I was his mom and he was my son and I was forever changed.

I can't end this post without mentioning how incredible John was throughout the entire experience.  Through labor & delivery, John was my ultimate coach and cheerleader.  He provided the support and love I needed to get through every moment and every decision.  I can't imagine how difficult it was for him to see me in that kind of pain or stand by as things started to go downhill.  But he never faltered and never left my side.  He was always positive and always trying to ease my pain and worries.  I didn't think it was possible but my love and respect for him has grown even deeper since we've become parents together.

I am slowly accepting how Mason was born and working on not letting my own disappointments with how I had wanted his birth to go to interfere with the ultimate outcome; a beautiful, healthy (BIG) baby boy.  I am so happy to feel as exhausted and as clueless as I do on a day to day basis learning to be a mom to Mason.  I feel blessed to be surrounded by such supportive family who have been there for us through everything.

I plan on blogging with photos and stories of Mason's adventures as often as I can find the time.  I promise future posts will not be so 'heavy' and emotional.  Thanks for reading if you made it through this marathon post.

D-Day

Well the day I've been looking forward to since August has come.....and gone!!  Our precious baby boy was due to arrive yesterday; but apparently he didn't get the message.  I'm considering charging him a nickel a day overdue fee which is consistent with what I was charged at the Daniel Pierce library as a kid.  I think it's fair; no!?!

Even though we didn't have the little guy, it was my last day of school for six weeks and it was pretty wonderful.  One of the special education classes I work in threw me a party & the students' writing assignment for the period was to write me a "baby advice" letter.  The letters were filled with great words of wisdom like "feed the baby" and "don't leave the baby in the car."  After writing, we had donuts & listened to "baby" songs the kids picked like Usher's "There Goes My Baby."  LOL.  I love middle schoolers.
All is ready for my leave replacement and I feel like I can relax knowing that I got everything prepared for me to be out.  That's a pretty good feeling.

Last night we celebrated the due date/doing-nothing date with my parents, sisters, & the Knoxes.  I am so sad that he did not arrive while the Knoxes were in town.  Luckily they'll be back in just about two months & will be able to meet him then.

I'm still feeling pretty good.  I am a little bit uncomfortable but it's not unbearable.  I can still walk well, sleep enough to get through, and can't really complain at all.   (I think it's payback since I was 2 and a half weeks late, my poor mom!!)  John's been giving me foot rubs at night & I've been trying to relax as much as possible after work.  Now work is done and it's just a waiting game.  He has to come out eventually, after all :o)

40 weeks

One More Year- Happy Birthday Mom!!

My mom's actual birthday is April 3rd, but she & my dad were in Florida last week taking care of my grandpa.  We are celebrating this weekend.  This afternoon my parents and Gracie came over for some cake & the Masters.  We will have Easter dinner tomorrow night.  My mom is 54 years young and super excited because next year she will be able to retire from teaching.  Happy Birthday!!

Dear Little One [2]

Dear Little One,

How did we get to April so quickly & less than two weeks from your due date??  The time certainly has flown.

I find myself torn about your upcoming arrival.  On one hand, I am overwhelmingly anxious to meet you; to kiss your cheeks, count your fingers and toes, and see you meet your daddy for the first time.  I can't wait to finally hold you in my arms, feed you, read you bedtime stories, and watch you grow.  On the other hand, I don't know if I'm ready to share you with the world.  Right now you are safe and sound inside of me.  No one can hurt you.  I am with you always.  I know that you will decide when it's your time to come out and meet your family who already loves you.  (I do appreciate you staying put while your Grandma & Grandpa K were in Florida, taking care of great-grandpa and while Grandma & Grandpa T were in Wilkes-Barre with your cousins.)  I'm going to be as patient as possible and let you stay put as long as is medically safe for you.  Daddy is taking good care of me and doing everything he can to make sure we're ready for you & that I'm as comfortable as possible.

So, baby boy, I'll be seeing you.

I love you.

Mommy

Basketball Bling Bling

Another b-ball season has come & gone, and once again John and his girls cleaned house at the Section 9 Girls' Basketball Coaches Association Dinner!!

John introducing the girls

Mareena & Katlynn

All Section Players
Coach of the Year for Class C & Division 5

Hard work pays off.

Congrats to Kevin!!
Coach of the Year Class D & Division 6

Well done :)

Full Term!!

Well we've made it.  Baby boy has reached 'full term.'  This means his systems are fully formed and he is officially safe to join us in the outside world.  I am SURE that he has no intentions of doing so until much closer to his due date in 3 weeks.  After 4 baby showers; one from my family, one from John's family, one from my co-workers, and one from John's co-workers, the nursery is FULLY stocked and ready for his arrival.  

Take a tour of the little guy's new digs:

Crib

i LOVE it.

changing area/dresser

clearly a bball night light is necessary :)

This week, baby is officially the size of the fruit I've FELT like the past several weeks- a watermelon!!

I've started going to the doctor every week, have my hospital bags packed, got the pets all updated with their check-ups/shots, and am getting more excited by the day to meet our little boy.  Our due date is April 20th.  We'll see what he thinks of that date....

37 weeks